Rain on my parade
- Paul Shukin
- Apr 21
- 1 min read
“Hello, mayor's office.”
"Is this the mayor's office?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Of Chicago?”
“That's right. What can I do for you?”
“I'd like to order a parade.”
“Who's calling?”
“I'm Paul Shukin”
“What is the occasion for your parade, Mr. Shukin?”
“UH...?”
“I mean, the reason for it.”
“Oh. Uh. There's no reason. I'd like to have a parade, that's all.”
“Are you famous?”
“No.”
“Have you done anything important, like, win a championship, travel to uncharted places, find a cure for an ailment that threatens mankind... that kind of thing?”
“No.”
“I see.”
PAUSE
“Let me see what I can do. Please hold.”
“OK, thanks.”
LONG PAUSE
“Hello, Mr. Shukin, are you still there?”
“I am!”
“OK. Just checking. Please hold.”
A VERY LONG PAUSE
“Hello, Mr. Shukin, are you still there?”
“Yes!”
“A basic parade starts at $35,000, what with street closures, police prep, cleanup afterwards, fees and taxes. That kind of stuff.”
“Oh.”
PAUSE
“Hello, Mr. Shukin, are you still there?”
”Yeah. Uh. Never mind. Thanks!”
CLICK
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